Today is November 12th and would have been my dad's 57th birthday. However, instead of looking at today as "another birthday" as my dad would have said, I am celebrating the life that was... and is.
To him his birthday was no big deal, but today is kind of a big deal to me.
Last year at this time I was what seemed like 20 months (actually 8 or so) pregnant with Jack- and celebrating this day, the first birthday we had spent without dad. We were awaiting this new little person that was about to come into our lives. I just knew from the very beginning that we were going to have a boy and I wanted name him after his Pops. I must say though, that when I tried to picture what Jack would look like I had a hard time. If any of you know Brian, you know he has very dark hair and dark skin. I of course am fairly light, but blonde- so naturally, I thought our little Jack would be of a darker complexion.
It's a year later and Jack is 10 months. I now find it very funny that my dad always jokingly told my sister and I that he was sure one of us would have a red haired child and I DO have a perfectly red headed child who looks quite like his namesake. I am constanly in awe of the plans God has set for us. I am reminded of his wonder in times like this.
Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you...."
Jeremiah29:11 "For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope."
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my dad, what was and what could have been. However, there is not a day that goes by that I don't look at my child and think of the possibilities that will be.
So today, I celebrate my dad, Jack, who made such an impression on my heart.

I celebrate my son, Jack, who has filled my life with more joy than I ever could have imagined.

I celebrate the wonderful guardian angel my family and I now have to watch over us. And, I celebrate God, who has known and will guide my little Jack's heart.
Happy Birthday dad! I know you are constantly checking in on us, just as you did when you were here. Today, although sad, is a good day.